April 11, 2004 - Sunday | 1:39 PM, CST

Yeah yeah, so I haven't updated in over a month. Sue me. A lot of very interesting stuff has happened in the last month. Much of which occurred in the past few days. I won't get to cover everything in this entry, but I'll give you the most important news.

First of all, Kelly and I broke up yesterday. I'm not going to get into the details of why and who is at fault and any other he-said she-said. I'll just say that I'm single now and we will leave it at that.

Second, a question. How much will your asshole stretch to accomodate an eleven thousand dollar dildo?

I've been searching for a new vehicle for a few months now. Last weekend, I found a nice looking 1999 Bravada in Lafayette, offered by our good friends at the Bob Rohrman Auto Group. It drove nice, plenty of bells and whistles, engine looked clean, the vehicle in general looked well-maintained... I thought "What could go wrong here?"

Well little did my virgin asshole know, but a lot can go wrong. I went Thursday morning to pick it up, but on the ride home, I noticed a vibration in the front end. I didn't think anything of it, because a vibrating car on an Indiana road is nothing new. But the further I drove, the more I realized that something wasn't right.

When I got home, I let several people drive in to give me their opinions on what could possibly be wrong. It ranged from a wheel off balance, CV joints, and bad wheel bearings (to name a few). Bryan and I both agreed that whatever was wrong was not present when we test drove the vehicle last week.

In Illinois you have seventy-two hours to change your mind about a vehicle purchase, whether you had a warranty or not (our good friends at Bob Rohrman offered me a 30 day warranty, which I foolishly chose to decline based on the TWO THOUSAND dollar pricetag). So I called the bank and asked them what I should do. They were in agreement that I should not stand for this, so I called our good friends at Bob Rohrman and explained the situation.

Well.... they didn't know if there was anything they could do, since I bought the vehicle "as-is." Nevermind that I had purchased it less than twenty-four hours previously. Plus, the manager wasn't in today, and he makes all the decisions on that so they coudln't possibly get back to me until Monday.

My next phone call was to an attorney. Over the next half hour, I spoke with no less than half a dozen attorneys until I found one that dealt with vehicle laws. As it turns out, Indiana doesn't have a similiar seventy-two hour law to bring a vehicle back, and since I turned down Bob Rohrman's gracious offer of a warranty, I had set the stage for the aforementioned eleven thousand dollar dildo.

I took it to a dealership and had a mechanic drive it. He drove it for about ten minutes, and his preliminary diagnosis was that both front wheel bearings were bad. He could not assure me whether the Bravada was even safe to drive.

I called our good friends at Bob Rohrman and explained the situation.

Me: I took the vehicle to a dealer and he believed it was both wheel bearings going bad.

Our Friends at Bob Rohrman: Oh... is that so.

Me: Yeah, he couldn't even guarantee that the vehicle was safe to drive.

Our Friends at Bob Rohrman: Really?

Me: Yeah. Now you're sure that no one can take care of this until Monday?

Our Friends at Bob Rohrman: Well... I could go ask my General Manager.

Me: Why don't you go do that.

I am put on hold, music begins to play

Ol' Bob Rohrman is a good friend of miiiiiine! And I like it that way!

Me: Fuck you.

I wait a few more minutes.

Our Friends at Bob Rohrman: Well, I talked to the General Manager, and he said that you don't have seventy-two hours to return it, and you did buy it as is. But we don't want to leave you out on a limb here.

Me: Yeah, what with your reputation at stake and all.

Our Friends at Bob Rohrman: Yeah... Well go get a rough estimate of what its going to cost to repair, and if its the wheel bearings, we will pay half the cost.

Me: Wow.

Boy, I hope these fuckers have their acceptance speech ready when they win the Nobel Prize. How gracious! I have learned much from this experience, and recommend the following:

1. Never buy from Indiana.
2. Always demand a warranty (one that doesn't cost two thousand dollars).
3. See if you can't take the vehicle home for twenty-four hours for an extended test drive.
4. Stay away from Bob Rohrman.

Nathan and I recently went on adventure to explore a set of old coaling towers north of Gilman. These were used back in the old days to refil the tenders of steam engines. Pretty nifty. Here are some pictures.

Taking a trip with Nathan and family was a helluva good time. There are more pictures, but I'm afraid thats the only one you'll get for now.

On a totally unrelated note, I'm going to say this. Anyone is welcome to stay the night at my house if they want to visit, but if you're not going to respect the very few rules that I do have, then you can find a different place to say. I'm a pretty forgiving guy, but being told that my rules are stupid and that I'm uptight for now allowing smoking in my house is not a good way to make my happy, especially when I look into my sink and see that my dirty dishes have been turned into an ashtray.

I'll leave it at that.

Ceça: You may be happy to know that although I had not updated in a month, I do have a disposable camera I bought to take pictures of family, friends, and places around the area to send to you. I think you'll enjoy them, but I still need to finish the roll of film.

grokkings

Although carnies invented the word "blamshit," Nathan is responsible for bringing it to our attention.

different crap

Ghost hunting    7/23/02

other people

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