December 3, 2004 - Friday | 9:24 AM, CST

I knew it would be an interesting morning. A local retailer is kind enough to participate in a matching grant program, where an organization has a fundraiser, and the store matches their profit up to a certain amount.

I called the woman in charge of the program, and we made arrangements to meet this morning at nine o'clock. "Where should I meet you," I asked.

She told me where to meet her, and mentioned there would be a staff meeting going on.

"Sounds like trouble," I thought.

I arrived early to try to avoid this staff meeting, and was feeling like I succeeded when I was sitting quietly in the back of the store waiting to receive the check. As I began to relax, the woman approached me and said "We are going to go to the staff meeting now."

She led me to the staff meeting, where I stood at the front of the room watching (and counting) the twenty-one associates file in and take seats. The manager began by addressing the group with "We have two very special guests here with us today."

He turned to me and asked my name.

I told him, loud enough for the crowd to hear.

"Ok," he replied to myself and the group, "Well we'd just like to hear a little bit about your organization, what you're going to do with the money, what your organization does. Well, of course everybody knows what the fire department does."

Thinking to soften myself up with a little humor before my impromptu solo speech, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Yes, we drink beer."

As I sounded out the word drink, a little voice inside my head told me that particular answer may be deemed inappropriate for such an occasion, and I swiftly changed it to "Yes, we drin-drive pretty trucks."

He laughed. I laughed. The crowd smiled.

This isn't so bad, I thought, and started rehearsing a Q&A in my head. Most of the questions I asked myself for preparation purposes met with the answer "I don't know." But thankfully, I didn't have to do much of any explanation after the first question.

"What will you be using the money for?"

"Uhhh... Probably new gear..."

I looked out at the crowd, who clearly wished me to elaborate.

"Uhhh... New coats,..." I pointed at my coat.

"Lets see... New boots,..." I pointed at my shoes for the audience.

Thinking of nothing else, I smiled.

The audience smiled.

I smiled wider.

Then my picture was taken. It will be in the newspaper.

After that, I was excused from the meeting and left with a chorus of applause; glad that my unexpected foray into public speaking in front of twenty-one unknown retail store associates was over.

Looking back, it was kind of interesting and even a little fun. But definately the work of an officer.

As you know from my last entry, which was later than its actual date of writing, my phone is working again. I'm definately glad that I purchased that so-called "wire-maintenance" plan. I wonder if the technician was puzzled at the tiny AK-47's, miniature copies of the Quran, and the words "Praise Allah!" written upon my foundation in human blood. Its a strange world underneath my house and in between my walls.

grokkings

I've been fired from a job due to my website.

different crap

Ghost hunting    7/23/02

other people

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