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February 10, 2005 - Thursday | 8:12 AM, CST
Does anyone else ever notice, that when you are in an enclosed area (or even outside) with a smoker, they always seem to be upwind of you? It never fails when a smoker is around that they unconsciously choose the best possible way for their smoke plume to drift directly into the breathing area of the nearest non-smoker. Cigarette smoke doesn't really disperse very rapidly, so its easy to see where its going... Do they just not notice the little blue-grey stream going from their hand to your face?
What also baffles me is having smokers at your house during the winter time. They'll ask if you they can smoke inside, then bitch and moan when you tell them no. "Can't you just make this one exception? Its freezing outside!" Ok, you should sit in your house and wait thirty or forty minutes for the room to clear, just because they don't want to be cold for three minutes?
Anyway, I'm leading up to something. What I'd like to do, is invent some sort of little machine that a non-smoker could carry with them in their pocket. When activated, it would emit a horrible skunk shit smell. So the next time a smoker tries going upwind of you, just take a few steps, activate your stink machine, and give them a taste of their own medicine. Did I mention the fumes would cause cancer?
Another thing with common courtesy... Kelly and I went to the Olive Garden the other weekend, and there was a long wait. They had a few couches and chairs placed around the front lobby, but not nearly enough for all the people wanting a seat. What I noticed... almost every couple that came in, the guy was the first to grab the next available seat, even if their dates (most of which were wearing high heels) couldn't sit down. How can we, as men, demand subjugation of the female species without even acting kind and considerate when we are in public? Its a pity.
But thats enough bitching for one day. Toodleloo.
By the way, I'm not wearing any pants.
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