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April 23, 2005 - Saturday | 7:44 PM, CST
Now... a long time ago... probably longer than any of you are old enough to remember, I was a little boy. Three or four years old, to give a more exact estimate. As a little boy of about three or four years old, there are certain snacks which I enjoyed. One of those snacks was a 3 Musketeers bar. Smooth. Wonderful. Delicious.
Back when I was a little boy that enjoyed eating 3 Musketeers bars, I also occasionally watched television. And not on any of the pussy television sets they've got out today. I'm talking about one of those huge floor models popular in the seventies and early eighties. The ones that looked more like a small refridgerator than anything of today's standards.
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3 Musketeers, still a decicious treat!
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On that television set played a very important commercial. Three young gentlemen were sitting in a library. They were all dressed in cool and hip eighties clothing, but with a touch of the fifties thrown in for good measure. Of course, they were having a good time, and by good time I mean laughing and joking around. The librarian's idea of a good time in the library didn't quite mesh with the gentlemen's idea of a good time in the library, and a lot of "Shhh" -ing ensued. Thus, our heroes went outside, and hopped Dukes of Hazard style into their late fifties model, red convertable. Next came a close-up of the glove box, which was given a slight smack by one of the young gentlemen. It popped open and there lying perfectly inside was a 3 Musketeers bar.
Now this gets better, because instead of just opening the package and chomping down, the gentleman breaks off his first bite, giving us a close-up of all the creamy whipped filling. He tilts his head back, and pops it in. And for the next several years, this is how I ate my 3 Musketeers bars. Occasionally... I still do.
Knowledge is the key to success, and now you may say that you are a little bit wiser...
...because you have a right to know!
My name is Matthew Havens, and I approve this message.
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