I wrote this after watching a Sally Jessie Raphael episode at work. I sent it to the ASFAR list.

Satan Jessie Raphael

The synopsis is a bunch of alcoholic teens tripped out on crack.

The discussion then shifted to how the teens got alcohol. Satan Jessie Raphael blamed it on stores selling to those evil minors.

Satan Jessie Raphael then invited a guest on to the stage. He was a government official from Texas. He began drawling out in his unintelligible suthun' accent about how selling to an evil minor was a "class A misdemeanor." Thats bad stuff. Anyone in the state of Texas who sells the demon brew to an evil minor will be arrested, and thoroughly spanked with this man's belt.

Next, Satan Jessie Raphael showed clips of top secret under cover sting operations whereby an evil minor, POSING as a seemingly ordinary adult over 21, went into a store and attempted to purchase the demon brew. It showed one clerk look around suspiciously after the evil minor (the one posing as a seemingly ordinary adult wishing to purchase an alcoholic beverage) put the 12 pack onto the counter. The clerk sold the alcohol to the evil minor, and was arrested.

Next, we were shown another evil minor at a separate location. This clerk asked to see the evil minor's ID. The clerk, being an adult and possessing more superior intelligence than the evil minor, asked the evil minor what month his birthdate is "what month is this?," as she looked at the evil minor's ID. The evil minor replied "September." The clerk (the one possessing superior intelligence) then took the ID to a location at the back of the counter, near a microwave. Possibly to confer with the electrical device over the legality of selling the demon brew to an evil minor. The microwave informed the clerk (the one possessing superior intelligence) that this was a bad thing to do, and if she followed through with the purchase, she would be throughly spanked with a belt belonging to a man who appears on talk shows and speaks with a suthun' accent.

The clerk (the one possessing superior intelligence) then took the evil minor's ID to the front of the store and handed it back to the evil minor. She then informed the evil minor that he was not allowed to purchase the demon brew.

The clip then faded out and was replaced by a smiling Satan Jessie Raphael and the man with the belt who spoke in a suthun' accent on the stage of the show. Satan Jesse Raphael said "so this clerk didn't sell to the minor?"

"No, maa'aam."

[Audience roars with applause]

Satan Jessie Raphael smiles, and says "Thank you for being a guest on our show, we think you are doing a wonderful job in Texas."

[Audience roars with applause]

"Thank you, maa'aam."

grokkings

When Andy lived out on the farm, his horse Hagar used to get a boner and try to get behind me.

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